Monday, March 12, 2012

transitions and decisions

Life has been one big transition since Mason arrived: becoming a parent, returning to work, and now preparing to stay home with him. Thankfully, the Lord provides time and care to ease change-resistant people like me into new situations.

I committed to finishing my semester at work. I'm teaching and I just didn't feel right leaving my staff and students in a lurch. But, I'm using up accrued leave and working from home on days in April and May when I don't have a reason to go into the office. I offered to cover my job responsibilities into the summer, until my replacement is hired, as long as I can work mostly from home, which my boss agreed to. This seems to be a win-win situation for everyone involved--I have ample time to wrap up nearly 12 years of work and my staff shouldn't have to cover many, if any, of my duties while waiting for my successor to start.

Although my official last day is still months away, Mason will finish daycare at the end of March. He really only has two full weeks left there because I will keep him home during my spring break next week. The grandparents are visiting during busy weeks in April to care for Mason when I have to be in the office. I've also found two women from church who can watch Mason on a few random days in April and May. His care for this interim period has fallen into place easily and cheaply--evidence of the Lord's providence. Working from home with Mason underfoot will require some planning and diligence, but I'm thrilled to not have to wait until May 18th to spend some weekday time with my boy. My first mission once he's back at home full-time? Fixing his nap woes!

Sometimes I envy women who intuitively knew before their babies arrived that they wanted to stay home with them. Never having believed I was stay-at-home-mom material, I've wrangled with this decision more and longer than I needed to. But, this deliberation has made me appreciate how each family's circumstances and desires differ. There is no universal right answer. The Lord's will and timing, for each family, is good and perfect.

For my little family, financially, it makes no sense for me to quit working. But in every other aspect, it makes perfect sense. At least for now. And that's what I am choosing to focus on: my son, right now. Some sort of work will always be there--I'll return to work full-time when I need to or find some part-time work soon if necessary. But my little guy won't be little very long. These days with him are precious and fleeting. They tug at my heart in ways I never dreamed possible.

Motherhood--crazy, unpredictable, gut-wrenching, and wonderful. What a great privilege. Praise God.


Carol C said...

Wow-congratulations on your huge life change! Sounds like the whole family will be much happier. Best wishes to you all!

Caitlin {Pacifier In My Pocket} said...

I'm so excited for you. This sounds like it fell into place perfectly, it was meant to be!

Stacy said...

Praise God that you can ease out and take care of the last stuff, and still get to bring Mason home soon! God is so gracious to give us what we need, when we need it! I will continue to pray for you - I'm not sure why it was so gut-wrenching and stressful for me too, but at least you are not alone! And I'm confident God will provide opportunities for you to use your training in the future - that was an issue that I was concerned about, and pray about for myself as well. But HE knows why we went to school as long as we did :) Hugs and prayers!