Monday, February 6, 2012
hard, yet so precious
I think the reasons parenthood is challenging differ by family and situation. But, can we all concur that it's outrageously difficult at times?
Lately, Brad and I have been talking more and more about the stresses associated with this season. Not that we're no longer joyful--of course we are and we praise God for his gift of Mason every day. But four months in, we find ourselves at a junction: our new normal, which still doesn't feel completely normal, and remembering clearly the time, freedom, and resources we had before Mason arrived. It's an interesting place to be. There's obviously only one way forward, and in some ways, that path will eventually lead us back to the things we're missing right now.
One day, my house will be quiet and clean again, and I will have all the time in the world to read, write, cook, garden, and run. Brad and I will have the flexibility and the finances to go out on a whim or just to stay home and hang out without interruptions. We'll have more time just for us. My yard will return to its pristine, perpetually blooming state. But when that day arrives, the house will seem tomb-like and my yard will look fake because it's so perfect. Brad and I will have hit all the restaurants and movies we ever wanted to and I will be too old to run. Instead, I will long for these days of coos, smiles, and cuddles, even if they're peppered with fussing, teething, and tantrums. I will miss caring about and for my baby's every need. Lord willing, Mason will grow into an independent, responsible adult. But, he'll always be my baby.
Yes, this season of new parenthood is difficult, but it's also fleeting. Even the hardest days are precious. As a working mama with what feels like no time with my baby, I understand that more than ever now.