The tree's up! And it's that time again.
Two years ago, I had an affair with another. I'm sorry to say, dear tree, that it's happened again, and it's much more serious this time.
You stand tall and proud, and you're perfectly proportioned. Once again, you are exquisite and elegant and make the house smell divine. Although you are perfect in every way you could be, you fall short this year. I can't help it--I'm just not that into you.
You see, I'm much more drawn to the gift beside you. Although he smells quite foul on occasion, much of the time, his baby lotion scent melts my heart in ways that pine needles never could. And you're beautiful, but you're also silent. The little bundle next to you can scream his bloody head off just because he feels like it, but he can also coo and giggle and make all sorts of silly noises. He smiles at and interacts with me in ways that you never could.
You need me to water you, but he needs me for pretty much everything. He's even more demanding than you are!
The good news is that, Lord willing, next year you will have a new admirer. And I have a feeling that he will be much more smitten with you than I ever have been.