Monday, August 1, 2011

august anxiety

Happy August! As of today, when people ask when I'm due, I can say, "Next month." Amazing! And praise God for carrying Baby and me this far.

Today is when my August dread usually begins. But, given the circumstances this year, my dread has turned to anxiety. I don't dread the fall semester at all. In fact, I look forward to it because, Lord willing, Baby will arrive safe and sound and I'll be on maternity leave most of the fall semester.

As long as Baby doesn't come early and I can work through the second week of classes, I won't return until the university reopens after the holidays: January 3, 2012. But I'm so nervous that Baby will come early and I won't be prepared, either at work or home.

I'm not worried so much about being unprepared at home other than if Baby arrives prematurely and I need to return to work before January--what will we do about childcare? On the work front, I've been toiling for months to not only accomplish my summer tasks, but to complete as much of my fall work as I can and to thoroughly prepare the rest of it to make life easier on those who will do my job for me. We have a small staff in my office, and I've covered for plenty of people during extended absences, so I don't take their time and generosity for granted.

Brad's and my decision to not find out the sex of our baby baffles most people. In truth, I still don't even wonder about it and we haven't once speculated about what we think we're having. For many reasons, this is the right decision for us and I'm glad we were never tempted to find out. But if I could have one question answered in advance, it's this: what day will the baby arrive? Tell me how much time I have to work with!

3 comments:

Susannah said...

So great that you're able to take the entire semester off to spend with Baby. D and I were the exact same way at the end; the gender of the baby didn't take up too much of our thinking, but the arrival date sure did!

Amy said...

I agree that the not knowing the date is very stressful, especially for us planners. I never wanted to know the gender - that is such a fun surprise.

I was early with all three of mine, but had to be induced all three times for different medical issues. The first time I had an active kidney disease and they had been worried about a pre-term baby and preeclampsia the whole time (I was high risk and had a million sonograms and all that). I did end up with preeclampsia but by week 38, the baby was full term and ready to come. But when that healthy baby arrives, all of it is worth it.

I'm so happy for you and wish you the best getting ready to leave your job in other hands. It's a challenge to be sure! I hope that you get the full semester off and don't have to stress about getting back earlier than that.

What do you have planned for daycare after the first of the year?

SusanL said...

We're so happy and excited for you! Lots of love!!