Thursday, July 7, 2011

our last hurrah

sunset over the Currituck Sound
Brad and I traveled to Duck, North Carolina, for the July 4th weekend, and we had a great time: perfect beach weather, a nice hotel room with the most comfortable hotel bed I've ever slept in, and most importantly, good conversations and sweet time together. We both sense that change is imminent, and for two people who are somewhat set in our ways and therefore don't adjust to change quickly or well, it's scary. Even though we've wanted children for years, now that we're about to have one, Lord willing, it's an understatement to say that we're both terrified about the future.

This past weekend we laughed, we cried, we relaxed, we reminisced, and we tried to enjoy a last trip of just the two of us (for a while, at least) because we hear that once children are involved, vacations are never quite the same again.

Even though it's taken longer to have children than we had hoped, I'll never regret these nine plus years of marriage that Brad and I have had alone together. We've run marathons and dined at fine restaurants. We went to Europe and traveled to countless other places. We've been hermits, and on the flip side, too social at times for our taste. We've started a married book club (kind of) and bought a house. I've earned my Ph.D. and Brad has advanced in his career. We love each other more and communicate better than we did nine years ago.

Of course we are both thrilled to welcome a son or daughter in about ten weeks, Lord willing. Our structured and orderly lives (and home) will quickly become a distant memory, and that's just fine with us. I know that we'll be okay. But fear is clouding my perspective and I'm feeling a bit nostalgic. Why is it that when something new is on the horizon, even a fabulous something new, you just want to curl up and cling to what's familiar?


Lisa said...

Your traveling and socializing days are not over! They will just be different. You'll travel more slowly. (We literally stopped to smell roses on our Spain trip.) You'll travel with food in mind...just not five star. And you'll still bring a lot of clothing options...for the baby. As for socializing, bring that baby anywhere. Once he/she is about six months old, you'll still be socializing...just before 7 p.m. :)

Diane Mannina said...

Yep, those sound like all the anxious feelings of a momma to be! But don't worry, you will be overwhelmed by God's grace and care for you during the big transition. Enjoy these last days, but know that life is about to get a lot sweeter. :)

BBH said...

I'm glad you had fun! J and I didn't start trying for a baby either, and even with the trouble, I wouldn't have wanted to start trying earlier and take away our years of it just being us two! I am thankful we had that! (But I'll take the baby now.)

diana onorio funk said...

you know, the summer before madeleine's arrival (5 years ago now!!), joe and i probably cried more than we ever had in our lives. we were on the verge of having our long-awaited, much-anticipated baby -- the one we thought we might never have -- yet, as we sensed so much change on the horizon, we were terrified, wondering how we might ever be able to raise a child properly. it was so scary, but now that i think back on it, it's so endearing that we felt that way. anticipating the birth of your first child is indescribably special... as anxious as you are, i hope you are able to soak in the joyfulness of it all. it's truly the most amazing time of your life. so excited for you, rebecca!!