Monday, November 15, 2010

chin up and soldier on

Brad and I have suffered another miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy this time. From the beginning, the nurse cautioned that the pregnancy might not be viable, and it turned out not to be. Of course, we're disappointed, but are not overwhelmed by grief like we were last time. It's a loss, and another setback, but as my doctor said, we can't let fear paralyze us. We've got to stay in the game if we want to win.

This command is easier said than done. I never considered myself a fearful person until I experienced a miscarriage. Anxious and worried at times, yes, but not fearful. But once miscarriage strips you of all feelings of control, it's so easy to let fear overcome you. A friend of mine, also a two-time member of the club, told me that she's scared to get pregnant again. I understand how she feels.

A friend and his wife have had five miscarriages (but no baby yet). After the devastation of my first miscarriage, I often thought of them, and wondered how they handled so many consecutive losses. But I better understand now. Even though fear and anxiety are pervasive, hope springs eternal. Miscarriages are so common, but you never believe you'll have one. Then it happens and you grieve and consider it a one-time fluke. It happens a second time and although you're more nervous about the future, you believe that surely the next pregnancy will be successful. You take each loss as it comes, and cling to hope. Praise God for providing comfort, hope, courage, persistence, and faith. Think of how many babies would not have been born had their parents given up in the face of adversity!

Brad and I have no idea what the Lord has in store for us, but we know that he is sovereign and good. We see his grace in our lives. We are growing in faith and we feel our dependency on him. God works for our good and his glory. We pray that others see our experiences as a testament of this truth.

Thank you to those who pray for us. We appreciate it so much, and we ask you to please keep praying. Pray that we guard against fear and anxiety. Pray that we don't lose hope. Pray that we trust in the Lord's sovereign plan.

Last Christmas, one of Brad's aunts gave me a bracelet with the word "courage" inscribed on it. Little did I know how prophetic that bracelet would be for me in 2010.

10 comments:

The Fledgling Mom said...

Hmmm ... Praying for you, sweet friend. Like you said, the Lord is sovereign and good ... and incredibly trustworthy.

SusanL said...

We are so sorry for you and Brad. Keeping you both in our prayers.
Love,
Tim and Susan

Katie said...

Thinking of you and Brad. I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. "Courage" sounds like a very good mantra. Love you both!

rebecca.d.winnett said...

Praying for you both and will continue to pray for the Lord's calming hand over you.

Sometimes I just have to remember to say it aloud "The Lord is good, his mercies are new every morning."

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

Oh I am so so sorry! I hate that y'all had that experience. Keeping y'all and your someday baby in my prayers!! Sending big hugs.

Esther said...

So sorry and sad for this loss and we are continuing to pray for you guys. Sending you some CA love..

Emily said...

Still praying.

Love,

Emily

Stacy said...

Our hearts are so so sad for your loss, much much love and prayers to you and Brad.

We thank God for you both, and for his goodness, knowing He has a good plan for you to bring you children.

love, stacy (and jack)

Heather said...

Praying hard!
Heather Nelson

Whitney and the Preppy Puppy said...

I'm so sorry for you and Brad. My thoughts are with you. xo xo