Thursday, October 7, 2010

when your talker quits

On a regular night with no commitments, I arrive home from work before Brad, get settled, and begin cooking dinner. Brad comes home, gets settled, and hangs out with me in the kitchen. We eat dinner together at the dining room table (no TV) and catch up on each others' days. After dinner and clean up, we each wind down in our respective ways; I settle into my reading nook with my book and Brad lounges on the couch either reading or watching TV.

If eight years of marriage has taught me anything, it's this: I need to arrive home before dinner if I expect to have any sort of conversation with my husband.

This used to really annoy me. I would come home late from work, book club, or girls' night, excited to see him and talk about our days like we always do, and he would do little more than nod or grunt at me when I walked in the door. No conversation. No daily recap. If he was already in wind-down mode, then he was "off" for the day, even with me.

I recently asked him to explain this behavior to me and he shrugged his shoulders and said, "My talker quits."

Although my talker has more stamina than his, I can understand this feeling. I'm not someone who wants to talk all the time either. So, now I have a strategy for nights when I arrive home late--unless it's something urgent or earth shattering, I save 99% of what I have to say until the next night.

And then he gets a double dose.:)

Our marriage survives better this way.

1 comment:

tnthomas1 said...

I need to try that, I talk anyway then find out he heard nothing I said :)