Wednesday, July 28, 2010

public service announcement

Chances are you know someone who's had one. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage--it's an unfortunate, but common outcome. You know it happens, but you probably know little else about it. Why would you know more? Miscarriage is a taboo topic. It's like being tapped for a secret society you hope to never be a part of. As my friend and her mother eloquently said, having a miscarriage initiates you into a brave sisterhood of often hushed women.

But like so many other societies, secret or esteemed or neither, seasoned members can ease the transition of the new initiates. I can't tell you how encouraging it's been to hear from so many of you who have experienced a miscarriage. I'm sorry for you, my heart aches for you, and I wish you weren't a member of this club either, but your reaching out and sharing has helped ease my way. I feel like less of a leper now--I know I am not alone in this. You've reminded me that miscarriages happen to good people, for no reason at all, and it could happen again. You've reassured me that there is nothing I could have done to prevent it--God is the one in charge.

One member of the club, a sweet friend here in DC, has held my hand through every step of this process. I'm not good at leaning on others during times of need, but she was persistent in the best way and often anticipated and met my needs before I could tell her not to go to the trouble. She prayed for me, checked in regularly, offered advice, shared her own experience, answered questions, wasn't afraid to discuss details, brought us meals, and remembered Brad's and my love of red velvet cake.:) She, and so many others, have been ideal support networks and have made this difficult time easier.

Lord willing, you will never experience a miscarriage, but . . . you might. And if you do, you will need a "big sister" in the club to help you through it. Now that I'm initiated, I can help. Remember this post. Remember my offer. And be in touch if you need me.

No comments: