Wednesday, July 21, 2010

follow up

Gentle Readers, thanks for your love: comments, emails, calls, thoughts, and prayers. Brad and I are doing okay. We're on the upswing, I think.

I hope you don't view my sharing via the blog as impersonal. Let me explain my perspective. Infertility and miscarriage, like so many other issues, are very difficult to discuss, let alone bring up in casual conversation. I cringe at the thought of making phone calls to thirty friends and having the same conversation thirty times--it's difficult enough to do once. We've all been caught in situations where another has shared something painful, and while we may have felt instant sympathy for him or her, we had no idea how to react or what to say. So maybe we resorted to cliches. Or maybe an inappropriate question slipped out before we could stop it. Or, in my opinion the worst and most offensive reaction, maybe we felt so awkward and uncomfortable that we immediately changed the subject to something safer, like the weather or our weekend plans.

The point is, there is no perfect response. Allowing others to simply share is oftentimes just what they need. From past experience, I've learned that in most cases it's best not to blindside friends and acquaintances by sharing bad news in person unless your circumstances make it comfortable to do so. Blogs and email, although arguably impersonal, give people time and space to process and react to news. And then they can decide how, when, or if they want to respond. And if they don't respond, that's okay, too. You expect a response in person, but not so much with a mass announcement.

Life is hard. And although it's difficult to do, I believe it's important to open up and be honest when you're struggling. Although most of life's challenges feel isolating when you're in the middle of them, sharing with others reveals how many people go through the same thing or something similar. And that realization makes the world seem a little less cruel, empty, and lonely. You develop a support network. You learn that others have survived and so can you. You begin to see God's work through others' care and concern for you. You feel their prayers.

Several of you have mentioned that you noticed my lack of posting last week. Can I just say how much that means to me? To feel--dare I say it--missed? To know that some people do look forward to my posts about nothing (which, by the way, will resume tomorrow)? I feel a greater responsibility now to post regularly. Thank you, Gentle Readers, for noticing my absence, and for everything.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Glad to hear you are doing a little better! We'll keep you in our thoughts and prayers! <3