Thursday, June 25, 2009

oh, dust bunnies

Wretched, cursed dust bunny, allow me to threaten discourage thee. Since moving into the new house, you have become my second-worst enemy (this one ranks first). Wood floors, unlike carpet, allow few hiding places. And in a 1915 home whose floors consist almost entirely of hard woods, your kind multiplies rapidly in plain sight. How malapropos of you! You've taken a personal vendetta against my wonderful husband, as you keep him in a constant state of discomfort. But me, you love. How do I know, you ask? By the way you trail behind me as I walk down the hall. Or the way that you instantly scatter and open up a path for me when I purposefully step forward to break up your cluster. You lust after my long, blond hair, snatching up fallen strands immediately and incorporating them into your tribe. Rest assured that your brown-nosing has not gone unnoticed. The queen of the manor appreciates obedient subjects. But please understand that extinction equals true obedience in this case.

You throw raucous parties underneath the bed, with millions of your friends descending upon a small space. When the crowd grows too overwhelming, or when excessive time passes between interventions, you carefully poke your nose out from under the bed, only to scurry beyond my reach when I crazily charge after you with the broom. Despite meticulous house cleaning before my own social engagements, I often glimpse you in the corner or along the wall, spying on my guests and gloating that you will always attract a much larger crowd than I do.

Because of you, I keep Swiffer in business.

I scoop you up almost daily, only to find you floating across the floor again within minutes. After all, you inhabited the house before I did. I guess that, in a way, you believe that you are the rightful owner. And boy, do you have a way of marking your territory!

I refuse to give up , though. Despicable dust bunny, I will fight you till the bitter end. Or until Brad and I move on to the next house. Please promise not to follow us there, okay?

3 comments:

Organized Living by Amy said...

Glad to know that you have the same problems. They make me feel like I'm a dirty person. It's always worst when I'm home during the day and all the light helps display all the dust. Keep us posted if you come up any new ways to get rid of/prevent these non-cute bunnies.

Smiling Mama said...

I feel your pain as well. Our best weapon is a cordless stick vac. I am more quick to pull that out than a swiffer.

Organized Living by Amy said...

cordless stick vac...exciting! I'm looking into one now.